I've been doing things on the table since Monday.
But none of them seem to be worth anything.
It's like trying to fix a broken car with a pair of pliers.
No one is watching. No one cares. Just me and my tired hands.
I try to do the right thing, but the world doesn't see it.
And when I'm done, I sit there wondering what I've actually done.
Is this all? Is this all I've ever done?
I tried to build something yesterday.
A big, beautiful, shiny thing.
I spent days, weeks, maybe even months working on it.
But it was nothing. It was a failure. A waste of time.
I gave up. I gave up on it. I just wanted to feel proud of myself.
But I couldn't. Not anymore.
I've seen people do better than me.
They have skills. They have ambition. They have passion.
I just... I don't know. I don't have those things.
I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not strong enough.
I just... I just feel like I'm failing.
But I still try. Because that's what I do.
What if I had done better?
What if I had made something that mattered?
What if I had done something that would change the world?
But I didn't. And now I wonder if I ever will.
I wish I could go back. I wish I could start over.
But I don't. I can't.