Top 50 Developer Den Rules That Will Get You Killed

#1. Don’t touch the terminal without permission.

Warning: If you break this rule, you’ll be banned from the den.

#2. Don’t install anything on the server.

Warning: The server is a sacred place; unauthorized modifications can lead to permanent bans.

#3. Don’t talk about the company in front of others.

Warning: The company’s reputation is their life. Speak privately.

#4. Don’t leave the den after dark.

Warning: Midnight hours are unsafe. Always check in before leaving.

#5. Don’t use external tools unless explicitly allowed.

Warning: The den has strict rules on what can be used. Violating these may result in immediate termination.

#6. Don’t play games unless you’ve been cleared.

Warning: Games are a form of work. They’re not for fun.

#7. Don’t eat food unless it's approved.

Warning: Food is regulated by the den. Unauthorized consumption can lead to being thrown out.

#8. Don’t wear pants if you’re not wearing socks.

Warning: The den believes in strict grooming standards. Pants must be paired with socks.

#9. Don’t carry weapons or tools outside the den.

Warning: Weapons are not permitted. The den enforces strict order.

#10. Don’t change your name in the log file.

Warning: Your identity is protected. Changing entries can lead to expulsion.

#11. Don’t take screenshots while working.

Warning: Screenshots are not allowed. They are considered evidence of misconduct.

#12. Don’t speak louder than the loudest person.

Warning: Volume is regulated. Excess noise can cause disciplinary action.

#13. Don’t share your password.

Warning: Passwords are secure. Sharing them can lead to severe consequences.

#14. Don’t use the bathroom without consent.

Warning: Bathroom access is restricted. It’s a privilege, not a right.

#15. Don’t walk in the middle of the room.

Warning: The den has designated paths. Walking in the middle can lead to punishment.

#16. Don’t use the toilet without permission.

Warning: Toiletries are controlled. Using them without approval is prohibited.

#17. Don’t run in the hallways.

Warning: Run is not allowed. Movement is regulated by the den’s protocol.

#18. Don’t bring food into the den.

Warning: Food is reserved for sanctioned meals. Bringing it in is an offense.

#19. Don’t play music unless it’s authorized.

Warning: Music is controlled. Unauthorized plays can lead to removal.

#20. Don’t leave the den until you’ve been checked.

Warning: All exits require clearance. You must be verified before departure.

#21. Don’t sit on the floor without permission.

Warning: Floor seating is reserved. Occupying it without authorization is a violation.

#22. Don’t use the kitchen unless it’s clear.

Warning: The kitchen is a special area. It cannot be occupied when in use.

#23. Don’t use the water fountain without supervision.

Warning: Water fountains are monitored. Unsupervised usage is strictly prohibited.

#24. Don’t use the computer during off-hours.

Warning: Computer time is limited. Off-hours are forbidden for use.

#25. Don’t wear inappropriate clothing.

Warning: Clothing is regulated. Inappropriate attire is considered disruptive.

#26. Don’t use the trash bin without permission.

Warning: Trash bins are controlled. Usage requires prior approval.

#27. Don’t use the stairs without permission.

Warning: Stair access is restricted. Unapproved movement is prohibited.

#28. Don’t use the phone without supervision.

Warning: Phone use is restricted. Supervision is required for all calls.

#29. Don’t leave the den until you've been verified.

Warning: All departures require verification. You must be confirmed before leaving.

#30. Don’t use the pool without a lifeguard present.

Warning: Pools are monitored. Lifeguards are required for safety.

#31. Don’t drink alcohol unless it's approved.

Warning: Alcohol is restricted. Approval is necessary for its use.

#32. Don’t enter the den without a pass.

Warning: Access is controlled. A pass is required for entry.

#33. Don’t use the gym without approval.

Warning: Gyms are restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#34. Don’t use the library without permission.

Warning: Libraries are restricted. Permission is required for use.

#35. Don’t use the carpool without permission.

Warning: Carpooling is restricted. Permission is necessary for use.

#36. Don’t use the printer without authorization.

Warning: Printers are controlled. Authorization is required for use.

#37. Don’t use the keyboard without permission.

Warning: Keyboards are restricted. Permission is necessary for use.

#38. Don’t use the mouse without permission.

Warning: Mice are restricted. Permission is required for use.

#39. Don’t use the webcam without approval.

Warning: Webcams are restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#40. Don’t use the microphone without approval.

Warning: Microphones are restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#41. Don’t use the internet without permission.

Warning: Internet use is restricted. Permission is required for use.

#42. Don’t use the network without approval.

Warning: Network access is restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#43. Don’t use the lights without approval.

Warning: Lighting is controlled. Approval is required for use.

#44. Don’t use the AC without approval.

Warning: Air conditioning is restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#45. Don’t use the elevator without approval.

Warning: Elevators are restricted. Approval is required for use.

#46. Don’t use the door without approval.

Warning: Doors are restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#47. Don’t use the restroom without approval.

Warning: Restrooms are restricted. Approval is required for use.

#48. Don’t use the bed without approval.

Warning: Beds are restricted. Approval is necessary for use.

#49. Don’t use the window without approval.

Warning: Windows are restricted. Approval is required for use.

#50. Don’t use the universe without approval.

Warning: The universe is restricted. Approval is necessary for use.