Why Is This Article So Bad?

Paragraph 1: This article is a disaster. The writer has no idea what they're doing. Every sentence is confusing, every sentence is pointless, and every sentence is trying to say something completely unrelated. It's like reading a document written by someone who was drunk on coffee and also had a mental breakdown.

Paragraph 2: The author is clearly uneducated, but then again, maybe they're trying to prove that they are? I don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter. It's still awful.

Paragraph 3: There's nothing here that makes sense. No plot. No character development. Just random words that somehow seem to be connected in some weird way. I'm sorry, but I can't help but feel like this whole thing is a joke.

Paragraph 4: If you think this article is good, you are missing out. It's the worst thing I've ever seen. I can't believe I spent time reading it. What a shame.